so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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