I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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