I was born with a shot glass in my hand
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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