it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
