i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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