If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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