I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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