She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize