Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
