it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
There's always time for handjobs
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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