there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
vagina is talking i cant
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
