KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
