lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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