Can i not drive my cunt home
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
