Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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