do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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