Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
