love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
