It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
