whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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