In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
