what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize