I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
