They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
