Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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