A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
This baby is an asshole
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
