Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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