i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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