Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
