For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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