Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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