consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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