Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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