sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
