Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
