Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
