I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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