just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
