i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
