Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The best revenge is premature balding
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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