You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
