Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
