You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
