If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize