he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
