I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
