Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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