Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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