so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
