I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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