Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
