Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
