the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
