we have officially lost it.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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