We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
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