I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
