My Higher Power is John Stamos
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
