this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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