Nicole vs. Life
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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