So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
