Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
