evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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