He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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