Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We had to coat check the pizza.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
