you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Houston, we have a squirter
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
