Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
