Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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