They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize