I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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