is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
