i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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