it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
