he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just forgot I was standing up.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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